You’re not alone. I’ve worked for 4 different carriers. I’m in the Northeast too. Work/life balance at my first 3 jobs was terrible. There was always an emergency, everything was top priority, extremely unreasonable deadlines, no study time. I was convinced actuarial outpost and r/actuary were a bunch of scammers. Then I realized my mistake: Medicare Advantage. I switched to Commercial and it’s all peaches and cream now. Went from taking one prelim every ~1.5 years to passing all my FSA exams on my first try, back to back sittings.
I would encourage you to look for other options. This career is about making reasonable money while having a good work life balance. If you take work/life balance out of the equation, you might as well do something more lucrative.